


I Don't Like Sand

by Char_the_Fireborn



Category: Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Humor, The Author Regrets Nothing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-08
Updated: 2018-08-08
Packaged: 2019-06-07 02:50:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15209213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Char_the_Fireborn/pseuds/Char_the_Fireborn
Summary: With his dying breath, Yoda tells Luke his father's weakness - the one thing that can pierce through Vader's dark, plated armor and reach Anakin Skywalker.Sand.





	1. Dagobah

**Author's Note:**

> This is basically an attempt at humor I made instead of sleeping. I fully intend to continue with Train, I hope you'll forgive the ridiculous amount of time I left it to rot. Anyway, without further ado, here's the story!

"Please, Yoda." Tears welled up in Luke's eyes as he stared pleadingly at the dying Jedi in front of him. "There has to be something I can do to save my father."

Yoda was silent for a moment, then said, "One thing, there is. Return to Tatooine, you must. Sand, you must gather. To Vader, bring the sand."

"What?" Luke asked, taken aback. Instead of answering, Yoda very unhelpfully dissolved. Luke would have cried if Yoda's last words had been anything else. Instead, he walked out of Yoda's hut, and back towards his X-Wing-

"Luke!" Luke turned to see Obi-Wan's translucent, pale blue form sitting on a tree stump that had just begun to rot.

"What is it?" Luke asked.

"You look troubled. What did Yoda tell you?" Obi-Wan replied.

Luke sighed. Even with Obi-Wan's Jedi powers, he strongly doubted that Obi-Wan would believe him if he told the truth about what Yoda had said. On the other hand, though, if Luke lied, Obi-Wan would know, and that wouldn't accomplish anything. Luke decided to go with the former. "He told me to go back to Tatooine, get some sand, and then bring it to Vader."

Obi-Wan stared at Luke for a second, then smiled serenely. "Yoda spoke wisely. If anything can bring Anakin Skywalker back, it's sand."

Luke was almost certain his ears were playing tricks on him. "Sand? Why sand?"

"There's no time for questions!" Obi-Wan leapt up from the stump, suddenly uncharacteristically energetic. "You must bring the sand to Vader!"

Less because Obi-Wan told him to, and more because he wasn't inclined to stay on a planet with a sand-obsessed ghost and who knows how many swamp monsters, Luke climbed into his ship's cockpit and flew away from Dagobah.


	2. Tatooine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luke goes to Tatooine to gather the ever-important sand, and is thoroughly confused as to what just happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am SO, SO SORRY for abandoning this, as well as Train. This summer has been busy for me, but I plan to start adding chapters to both this and Train. On a story-related note, Luke doesn't know Leia is his sister in this timeline. I don't know how that will change things, but I just want to point that out.

 As Luke flew his X-Wing towards Tatooine, he mentally replayed his conversation with Yoda over and over again. Luke couldn't help feeling like he was missing something important, but he couldn't figure out what, even with the help of the Force. The obvious answer was that he should have gone straight back to the Rebel Alliance instead of going all the way to Tatooine to gather sand. However, for some reason, Luke knew that wasn't it.

 Soon, the X-Wing was closing in on Tatooine, and Luke could see the enormous, barren planet that had once been his home. He had hated it there - for one thing, you could literally roast a piece of meat in the midday sun (When Luke was younger, he and his friends had done it once). For another, there was nothing to do there except work on the moisture farm and try not to get murdered by Force knows how many criminals and monsters lived in the endless desert. Leaving Tatooine and joining the rebels had seemed exciting and even fun at first. At first.

 Luke gritted his teeth, and tried his best to think of anything but his father as he landed his X-Wing on Tatooine. He climbed out of the cockpit, took out a thick burlap sack, and, feeling fairly ridiculous, reached into the hot desert sand beneath his feet and placed some of it into the sack. As he continued to fill the sack, Luke wondered why Yoda had been so sure that _sand_ , of all things, would save his father. Luke had never even liked sand. It was coarse and rough and irritating, and it got everywhere.  _Everywhere_. If Luke was able to return to the Rebel Alliance without any sand ending up in his X-Wing (other than, of course, the sand in the bag), he would consider himself extremely lucky.

 The bag full, Luke climbed back into the cockpit of his X-Wing and took off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, this chapter turned out a lot shorter than I meant it to be. I'll try to edit it and add a bit of length, although it will mostly just be filler and hopefully a bit of humor.

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally meant to be a oneshot, but then I realized that a) I'm already exhausted (When I said I wrote this instead of sleeping, I meant it.), b) this story is going to be longer than I originally anticipated, and c) I don't like oneshots. They're coarse and rough and they get everywhere.


End file.
